WEIGHT: 50 kg
Services: French Kissing, Massage professional, Striptease amateur, Watersports (Giving), Disabled Clients
So what would we do with over ladies at the Eketahuna Club? We sometimes express our bemusement at the services available in big cities and the demand for them, down here at the Eketahuna Club.
Unlike the Eketahuna Club, the Pelican Club boasts a website which brays about some eyebrow-raising attractions, such as meeting the sexiest women in Auckland. It seems to place more emphasis on massage and escorts than on liquor, which Alf regards as highly discouraging. Enjoy our hospitality with absolutely no obligation. Our ladies are stunning, our premises fabulous and our service guaranteed.
Good grief. The whole point of ducking down to the Eketahuna Club is to get away from womenfolk for an hour or so. When he stays at a hotel, staff are provided to clean the room, make the bed, take care of the laundry and so on unlike Dr Brash, Alf does not personally take care of his smalls in his hotel bathroom.
And if ever he needs a massage, Mrs Grumble can do the trick for him, although she is apt to be a tad heavy-handed with the liniment. Alf and his mates are therefore astonished to learn about an Auckland radio station that has pulled a competition in which it was giving away free massages at the aforementioned Pelican Club, which the Herald describes as an Auckland brothel.
One prize is believed to have been given out. Emily Turnbull, station manager at George FM, said once she realised the massages were being given away, she canned the promotion. It seems the radio show has been sponsored by the Pelican Club for three months and it has just signed to continue for another three months. There are always some people who complain about these sorts of things. Not much, Alf suspects, if only because the Eketahuna Club is the only possible sponsor — at least so far as he knows.